Online Safety
Role playing can be great fun, full of intense feelings, emotional roller coaster ride at times. Some use it solely for killing time. Some for a venue of lifestyles, both in real life and or virtual life. And then there are those that abuse, stalk and are online preditors. Be sure that you do all you can to ensure your own saftey at all times.
ABOUT BELOW INSERTS
these have been submitted from various people, they should be read and used as guidlines. In no way shape or form do we claim these as ours. If your the creator of these statements and wish credit for them or whish them removed, please email and verify....
This one the mgr read and thought should be posted. We wished we knew who the author is...
We come together in common forums, anonymous people with online personas uniting to share an enjoyment of a different culture. There are Masters and Mistresses, Panthers and Posers, and all the little kajirae. Through a mutual respect for some commonly accepted guidelines, we exist as a community, preferring the company of Free Goreans and slaves, and we are safe. Our world, not real, but a fantastic extension of our wickedest desires, a communal retreat from a society that does not condone such barbaric behavior, is well protected by the anonymity provided by the internet. And then someone wants to make it real.
It starts as something simple, like a phone call. It is all too easy for us to lose focus on the need to differentiate our online personas from our real, true selves. It is so common to be caught up in the passion of a moment, to want to take the intensity to the next level, to simply want more from the experience. A harmless phone call won't really mean anything, right? We're all real people with real needs, hungers, and desires. We, the sharers of this unique culture, are different from others, and we can trust each other. So what's the harm in a simple phone call? It will only make it more real, more powerful, more intense. And this is where it begins….
It goes without saying that by giving someone your phone number, you have given them your real name, your address, and access not only to you, but to your entire family, your circle of real life friends and co-workers. You could very easily be inviting a rapist, thief, or killer into your life. They may tell you to call them collect, which seems safe enough, yet while you have no charges or records of this call on your bill, they do, often with the number the call was placed from displayed in black and white on their phone bill. I know that it seems sad that such people exist, but, unfortunately, they do. And, what's worse, is that all too often, they seem like the least likely people. They often relate themselves as well educated, well-adjusted, temperamental people leading ordinary, sane lives.
My goal with this essay is not to try to teach ordinary people to be amateur criminal psychologists, but simply to enlighten readers as to some simple precautions that can be taken to protect you and yours. Hopefully, if one life can be spared the torment, disruption, or victimization by any of these predators, then it's writing has been well-spent time.
First thing, NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER, WORK TELEPHONE NUMBER, OR THE ADDRESS OF EITHER. This is perhaps the most obvious no-no, yet it is the most commonly broken one. Placing faith or trust in typed words on a computer monitor is a foolish quest at best. You have no proof whatsoever that what is being told to you is in any way the truth.
Second, if someone suggests making a collect call, keep the aforementioned information in mind. How do you beat it? Simple. Don't call from home, and don't assume that a cellular phone is untraceable. Caller I.D. blockers are ineffective against a well-equipped predator, so don't go thinking they provide a reasonably safe amount of anonymity. Call from a pay phone, a respectable distance from your home or any other place you frequently visit. Use calling cards with toll-free dial-up access numbers.
Agreeing to meet someone from your internet chat community is about as safe as taking a pogo-stick ride in rush-hour freeway traffic. However, millions are compelled to do this every year, and it is the most common first step en route to having your body described as 'Jane Doe #-next'. If the police even find the body, that is. So, if you insist on meeting Master Right, here's some safety tips:
1) Make sure someone unrelated to the relationship has all of the information you have on the person you're going to meet, including when and where you plan to meet, where you intend to go, and when you should be expected to return. Leave no details out, as they may be needed to trace the path of a crime.
2) Don't meet the person alone, or in a private place. Keep it public, and in the company of trusted friends. This simply cannot be stressed enough.
3) I would not suggest carrying any weapon stronger than pepper spray/MACE. Anything else could cause irreversible damage if mistakenly used, or may be taken from you and used against you. Bringing a gun to the first meeting could certainly put a damper on the night if an accidental discharge maims one of you during a goodnight hug.
4) Don't invite them back to your place unless your willing to sacrifice your freedom, health, or life. Anyone can be thoroughly charming if it means that they can get you vulnerable. And that's exactly what they want.
In future essays, I will address other issues of safety, but this should be good for starters. One last thing that should be noted is in regards to websites. One of the latest tricks with chat communities is to start giving someone the URL of hot new site that sells specialty items related to the community's interests. The site seems legitimate enough, including fake awards and certificates, but when you attempt to purchase materials, you end up turning over your name, address, and credit card information to a clever thief or predator. Be wary of sites that offer high-value bonuses or ridiculously low prices. These sites are often linking information to another site, or just outright bogus. Be cautious that your browser does not allow access to sites without valid certificates.
In closing, think carefully about everything you do when you are playing out your fantasies. Adult chat forums are quickly becoming the hunting grounds for would-be criminals. The more extreme the nature of the chat forum, the greater the danger. Be well and be safe.
This was submitted from a ex gorean slave who now roleplays on vampire: It is full of good informtaion and guidlines. The player said she belonged to the autor and used this as he had instructed and never had a online or rt problem.
I have always insisted that my slave not give out any RT information, or pic without my approval. The same goes for any slave under my control.
Slaves should be conscious of even small pieces of information which taken together add up to information you do not wish to share. Never post private information in a public channel. Even if you think you are alone, you may not be. People share private information when they trust sufficiently to do so. Yet how many of us have had such information on another offered to us unsolicited? It should be discouraged.
A slave may or may not mind, but should understand that information offered to your sister is information given to your sisters owner as well.
Many of us use MSWord and simler editors. Not many however realize that when you transfer these documents you may also be transfering the named registered owner of your PC as well. Open My computer and then the folder containing your favorit editors documents. Let your mouse sit on top of any document and it will display your PC registered owner as "Author" of the document. You can change it to some innocous inital or name by editing your registry.
If you are phoning someone, you can block caller ID and privatize your call by pressing *67 before dialing the number.
The community as a whole should become more safety conscious. If the "weird guy" just left your chat site, pass the information along.
A slave should never "feel funny" about expressing those warning signs she feels. Tell your owner. Tell someone you trust.
Slaves are to be pleasing, they are to obey with out question, they are not to judge, they are to show respect all the time, and they must trust. Slaves here on Earth often face a quandary, seeing the requirements of a slave as above and dealing with the mixed emotions of remaining safe in a unsafe world. I will try to offer some suggestions, blow away some myths and basically bring some reality back to what can be the most marvelous role any woman can be in, slavery. If we all lived in the pages of a book, the above requirements for slaves could be applied unfailingly. We don't live there, and most likely never will. So how much of the aforementioned rules apply to us? Any reasoning person can tell that if you apply the rules unquestioningly you might as well put a target on your forehead and plan your will.
Everything we do in life requires balance. Tipping the scales one way or the other, leads to an imbalance of thinking. Are we failures if we don't choose a extreme? We come online, admittedly a place of anonymity for everyone, we meet a man, and burn to be with him. Surprise, surprise, we fall in love, our trust is built through this limited medium. We believe what we see, but we have to remember what exactly we are believing. Far to many to many hoaxes have emerged from the shattered shell of on line trust. Some very skilled men and women have duped the online gorean community. Some are currently doing so. With this in mind, caution is the better part of any valor. What follows is the product of hard won experience from various members of the online community, myself included.
Unreal histories. For example a huge list of so called experience, that when questioned about has holes the size of the earth in it. If it doesn't feel right, more than likely it's not. Sudden life threatening illness and/or and asking for monetary assistance, ect. More often then not these types of illnesses are bogus. The very fact that someone, with whom your only contact is cyber, is asking for money should send up red flags. Use your own judgment on this. If you have it to spare and honestly feel inclined to send it, it is your choice. Never put yourself at risk and feel compelled because you are a slave to do it. They have friends, family and social systems to help.
Loss of control in men. This is a very touchy subject but it can be deadly, if you are planning an off line relationship. Watch them in web sties. How do they deal with situations? Do they blow up for no reason? Do they seem edgy, and do you feel like your walking on egg shells with them all the time? Does their online punishment seem blown out of proportion? Are they always on the virge of or in a bad mood? Do they blame others consistently for their moods? Is he a Jeckle and Hyde type person? All these things are signs of a mentally unstable personality. These can indicate they have the potential to be physically abusive in real life. Beware
Mental abuse. This is often over looked in the online circle, but it does exist. The signs of this are consistent efforts in putting you down, making you feel stupid, inferior, less then human, and other wise wrong. This is not to be confused with normal training of a slave, or the concept slaves are animals. How do I mean? It is very simple, if your down more then your up, you have a problem with the man. If your best efforts are always less than pleasing you have a problem. If your ill and he blames you for it, you have a problem. If he never offers encouragement by any means, you have a problem. If he consistently treats you like animal by denying your human mental attributes and seeking to crush your inherent personality, you have a problem. Being a slave is supposed to feel good, yes there will be times when you will feel bad, but the good should out weigh the bad.
The non listening ear. Being a slave does not mean your life ceases to be important to you. You will have problems to deal with, you will be under stress, you will have pain and you will at times need support. The concept that a man does not offer support to a slave is wrong. The reality is as a slave you will look to him for guidance. The guidance is not the common "just be pleasing girl" and problems will go away. If he shows no concern what so ever for what happens in your life, you have a problem. If he never wants to discuss things that concern you, you have a big problem. Even if you happen to live with this man, you will have to face things, you will need a measure of support and a listening ear. A man too self centered is not worth the air he breathes. Just like anything in this world, if you offer no maintenance, support, or care, it will become unusable in the end. For a relationship that expects a woman to surrender the whole of herself to her man, it is required then that the man care for the whole of the woman. Should he be unwilling to do that, then he should not own a woman to begin with.
This is by no means a complete list, but it covers many more areas than one at first may think of. If you are considering taking this on line relationship off line, it would be prudent to look very closely at the relationship on line. Never fall for the you have to obey line. Your obedience must be tempered with reality. You have your own set of priorities, demands, and responsibilities. Remember that. More so those of you with children to take care of. You are not a failure if you readily see something is wrong and leave. Your failure comes when you obey with a blind eye, risking yourself needlessly.
This on was submitted by a vt/rt slave known as submission. Shes also on a local group conected with the Black Rose. She told us that when she first started crossing over from online to rt venues, this was the outline she followed: Also might mention that she could not remeber the source this had come from but kept it in her gorean online diary.
Some thoughts on meeting off line:
After considering the online person, and you feel the need and desire to really meet this person, care should be taken. Many times it is only off line that the truth comes out.
Get to know this man well on line, get a feeling of trust before you attempt off line. Listen and watch, and then go back and listen and watch some more. Ask questions that are important, don't ask it once, ask it many times in a different way and listen for consistent answers. A answer is not, CINBIAK (curiosity is not becoming in a kajira). Not when you are talking about, what is your real name, your phone number, are you married or otherwise involved, if so, does this person know, where are we going to meet, what are we going to do, what are your plans ect... If you don't get answers, don't think of meeting, he is not being truthful. He should have nothing to hide.
"Plan, plan, plan," then when you thought you have it all planed, start over again. Things you should have set up. - His full name, address and phone number. - The phone number and address of where you will be staying. - Several people, one at the very minimum that you will contact during the visit during the visit. These people should be trusted by you. It does not matter if they will not be in the same state or country as where you will be going. They should have all of the above information, also including how long you will be gone, hopefully the telephone number of the local police department should things go wrong, and any other information that will help them find you, like your travel arrangements, lodgings, ect. Should anything go wrong they can be your only life line.
Make arrangements that are cut in stone with your trusted friends above. Have a set time to call, every day if possible. Twice, three times what ever it takes. If they do not get a call from you at this set time, it is a marker for them to start worrying, and to do something at their best judgment, according to the arrangements you have made before hand. In addition, there maybe times that situations go bad, and your are too afraid to say anything. So before you go, have a code phrase set up with your friend, make it simple and very common. If this code phrase is said, it means, call the police I am in trouble. If your plans change, contact your friend as soon as possible, making them aware of the situation.
Meet the first time in public, and stay in public until you feel comfortable. Go out to dinner, for walks in the park, what ever, just stay public. You can judge a lot in this first few hours, if you listen and watch carefully. No doubt he is doing the same. If your not comfortable, do not go into a private situation until you are, don't be afraid to get back into your transportation and leave if you must.
Get some sort of medical history from him and give yours to him. STD's are rampant out there, so be wary. Use protection, ie condoms all the time, every time. Don't let him talk his way out of it. It's your life, and his at risk. I have heard some request a Doctor's letter of health and proof of recent STD tests with results. Not a bad option if you ask me. But not a replacement for using a condom. Have a back up supply of ready cash, you might need it.
Tell him of these plans, don't go into detail about the friend code phrase, just in case. If he has objections to any of this, or does not insist that you use these precautions, run, don't walk from him. He has something to hide. It is not worth the risk. With out a doubt he should have similar arrangements made, if he is visiting you.
If he is coming to you, take similar precautions, don't take him back to your home, until you feel ready too. It might take hours or days. But well worth the wait.
Trust is earned, it is not freely given. Trust takes a lot of time to build up. What you trust online, will be added to off line. Let it grow, don't worry about it. He should understand this. Never allow him to take complete control until you have that time and trust. That would mean handing over all your possessions, your money, your ID, your credit cards, what ever. Check him out as he should you. Online you are able to check a name and address out by phone number, if you get a different result then what he gave, question it or better yet, run!
As a last bit of wisdom. Slaves, you don't have to send pics, give addresses or phone number, or full names and locations, to people you don't want to. A lot of information about you can be gleaned from this kind of information. If you decide to phone, please use ident block on your phone. In Canada, where most have caller ID, you will give out more than you might want to.
In Canada to turn off caller ID use *70 then the number. The other person will only see, private name and number, no other information. In the U.S. you can block caller ID and privatize your call by pressing *67 before dialing the number. For other countries, look in the front of your phone book for information.
Slaves, you are no less a slave for trying to protect yourself, you only a wise woman. God gave you a brain, use it to the best of your ability, let it be the bridle with which you steer your heart.
Thankfully there are more good stories around of people who have met and are happy then the bad ones, but we can never let our guard down. All of the above information applies to men as well as women. Care and caution should always be your focus when dealing with people you really don't know.
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